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Thursday, June 28, 2007

Mari & Josie == Everything

I related a set of events that happened today that renewed my appreciation for my wife and child on the message board of a podcast I listen to regularly (The Deadpan podcast).
Not going to re-write it here, you guys can deal with second hand content. So without further ado:

"Hey guys,

Sorry i haven’t contributed to the community in quite a while Jack (and after you gave me such a high by mentioning me in a list of new community members and all) but I have been listening to the podcast (Deadpan is indeed the way) and lurking in the boards every now and then.

Anyway, I wanted to share an experience I had today that involved the deadpan in finale.

I had a dream/nightmare last night (ie it started off ok and then went bad):
My wife and daughter and our 3 cats moved into a new house in a great neighbourhood.
My wife left the house to go to work leaving me and the Spudlette (my daughters nickname which is short for her super hero name “Spudlette The Crazy Chicken”….erm….mine is “The Bowel”…don’t ask. My wifes is “The Glare”…anyhoo!) to start getting the house into some kind of order.

Well after a few bits which aren’t Germain to the nightmare part the time period sort of changed such that even though time had gone forward I no longer had ever had a daughter and my wife had left me. And I was still in the living room of the house (with just the cats now) having to start the unpacking.

Just as I finished the unpacking and was doing something at one of the windows I saw my wife's car pull up and she got out in a wedding dress. Somehow I knew she was coming back from her honeymoon. She and her new husband who was an old friend of mine. They were going to live in the new house. My mother was helping her out of the car (because of the dress being so cumbersome) and into the house.

They all entered the house and while my mother and my wifes new husband and (perhaps) his mother were all sorting stuff out my wife (Mari - ironically…you should have seen what a clown I looked like when I asked her father for his permission to “marry…er…Mari”) came into the lounge room and started to talk to me like nothing was wrong, like we must have had a perfectly amicable split. That wasn't how I felt. I felt destroyed.

I left the room, pushing past her and heading for the kitchen. She followed me and I realised I was going to try to win her back. With her standing in a wedding dress and having just returned from her honeymoon. Tough but I needed her. I couldn’t live without her. And I remembered my baby, like she was a future that had been changed because I had stuffed up and lost my wife.

Just as I was starting to talk to her the husband, my friend, walked into the kitchen and knowing our history he was suspicious and well to cut a short story shorter we started to fight.
A sword fight.
With hard cardboard tubing.
Awesome fight. Very kung fu.

In the middle of the fight I woke up in my bed. I looked over my shoulder and my wife was not there. And my heart just about exploded until I rolled further and bumped up against something. Turning over fully I found it to be my little girl snuggled up in the covers up against me. And my heart did burst. I drew her into my arms and held her against me for a long time. During which I heard sounds of Mari in the other room getting ready for work. Everything was ok.

The dream didn't really linger in my mind very long after I too got up and started (very hurriedly) getting ready to take my daughter to school and then myself to work (we were running very late now) but when I got into work I remembered the dream and started to related it to Mari over IM. By the time I was finished I was feeling very emotional again and sad. The feelings were still very fresh. Just as I finished recounting the tale I hit the end of Deadpan 59 (which I have listened to before but I like the Tee Morris interview enough to keep listening when my playlist clocked over back to the beginning) where you (Jack of course) played the song which I don't know the name of (To Make You Feel My Love seems possible) and I just about lost it completely. Being an emotion junky and a bit of a masochist I don't know if this was the worst time or the best time for that song to kick in but it had a pretty spectacular effect to say the least.

Mari suggested chocolate to cheer me up but I opted instead for the solitude of the bathroom for a little breakdown. I’m ok now though.

Thank you Jack, for playing that song as frequently as you do. Though it may have been painful it enhanced an experience I was having and made the lessons learned all the more powerful.

Deadpan for life.

Myrddin"

3 comments:

Mat said...

Ant .. therapist ... NOW.

Ed from Texas said...

I'm a sucker for a touching story like that - it was definitely a moving song.

Tony said...

Cheers Ed.
Yeah it's a sweet sweet song alright.