Oh My Goodness, The Chips!

Implementing a Token Economy

A token economy is a psychological tool that is used to encourage desirable behaviours in children. Children earn “tokens” or points for exhibiting a range of desirable behaviours and can then redeem them for goods from a store at a pre-determined time.

A few weeks ago we started implementing a Token Economy at home. Josie had been getting progressively more and more difficult to manage since she turned 4 so we decided to try it. We had actually heard of this method from The Mommycast, a couple of years ago, but it was too early to implement then. Now however, is a different story. We bought a case of real poker chips, they are the good quality heavy ones that feel like you are holding something substantial, not the fake plastic ones, and away we went.

And what a change. I hardly recognise my daughter. She has taken to this like a toddler to Toys R Us!

Whenever we see that Josie has done something we have asked her to straight away; has obviously listened to what we have said; is told not to do something and actually stops her actions to talk about it with us; is being attentive, helpful, pleasant, etc she gets a poker chip.

The poker chips come in 4 colours, red, blue, green and black, with the red being worth the least, and the black being worth the most.

Red is 10pts.

Blue is 20pts.

Green is 50pts.

Black is 100pts.

1 point = 10c.

Usually she will get a red, however when we see that she has done something extra good or say if she has had to behave through a number of activities in a row (eg getting up, dressed, hair and teeth brushed of a morning without throwing any tantrums or refusing to co-operate) she will get a blue. After just 3 or 4 weeks she has even started to earn greens! Which she does by being a good girl for an entire afternoon/evening. The blacks she can only get by trading in groups of the lesser ones. Although we have told her if she is good for an entire weekend she will get a black one. But that is more as an encouraging, "lofty goal" to give her an emotional boost rather than a real expectation on our part. No 4 year old should be expected to be perfectly behaved every minute for days. As luck would have it the black ones are her favourites. So that gives her an extra incentive and a longer term goal to accrue the smaller ones so she can trade them in.

She's collected quite a few of the chips now and her behaviour has changed dramatically. She still gets into a mood occasionally, but it is now the exception, not the rule. Its amazing.

Last week we went and made our first purchase with her chips. An elephant game where the elephant blows butterflies out of his trunk and she has to catch them with her net. She loves it. And she knows that it was her good behaviour that bought her the game.

Also, a couple of months ago we were at Tony's uncles place and Josie found cousin Jacqui's Nintendo DS and wanted to play with it. To all our astonishment she was immediately able to play the thing! Well, we had a trip to Dubbo coming up and this was obviously the PERFECT thing for the long drive. So we borrowed Jac's and it worked a treat! Coincidentally we started the token economy shortly before the trip so we decided to offer her a second hand DS Lite from ebay "if she got 3 blue chips!". Remember this was early on so we couldn't foresee how quickly she would accrue 3 blue chips. Given what we have learned we would probably have set her the goal of 3 green or even 3 black ones! Anyway she got it last night, and as it happens it depleted her of the majority of her chips as we fiendishly devised a way to make up for the blunder with the initial cost of the thing; she had to pay extra for each of the games she got with it (it came with 14 GBA games). She was not too thrilled that she was left with only a few chips (of course being a 4 year old she is as fond of the poker chips as she is of a high-tech game system!), but we just reminded her what a good girl she was and told her we were sure she would have piles of chips again in no time and she was ecstatic!

Its brilliant. Its fantastic. I highly recommend it to all parents.

We have tried many disciplinary methods (has anyone else noticed how many punishment-based ones there are compared to so few reward based systems? Change comes slowly I guess.) over the years and never got a tenth of the results we are getting now.

Birthday Weekend Update

It was a loooong celebration ;-)

You don't turn 29-again every year! err.. well.. some of us actually DO ;-)

So for my 5th 29th birthday we had dinner at mums, dinner at Mat's, then dinner at Mat's again and then lunch at Trudy's! All the while, my tonsils were swollen and not getting any better!

Starting with the night of my birthday, Thursday, we went over to my mums for dinner. Dinner was lovely as usual and Josie had a great time playing with Becka.

On the Friday night, Mat offered to make dinner for us for my birthday. This was such a lovely gesture and I was very touched. Then I laid down some ground rules.

1. No Roasts.
2. No stupid movies
3. No Snatch (a movie Mat has been trying to get me to watch for years!)
4. No British Movies
5. No Victor Borg

I had to lay down rules or I would have ended up watching some comedian from Scotland who I couldn't understand! And The-Rules(tm) I relayed via Tony.

So then we had the following conversation on Meebo:

Mat: so Miss Fussypants No-Roast .. what DO you want for your birthday dinner?
Mari: lol
Mari: did you get my list of demands?
Mari: No Snatch
Mari: No Victor Borg
Mari: No English crap
Mari: No Stupid DVDs
Mat: nothing good in other words
Mari: ;-)
Mat: how bout we all sit around and read The Belgariad?
Mari: YES!!!
Mari: HOW wonderful!
[The Belgariad and The Mallorean are my all time favourite books by David Eddings]
Mari: as for dinner.. uhm.. the only exception to the No-Roast rule is chicken ;-)
Mari: We like roast chicken ;-)
Mari: and a no-weed salad policy exists ;-)
Mat: you'll get baked beans on toast at this rate Missy
Mari: lol
Mari: well like i said.. chicken's ok ;-)
Mari: how about steak & kidney pie ?
Mari: ;-)
Mari: or you know.. any seafood is likely to make my night ;-)
Mari: any seafood and I may even move in ;-)
Mari: and messy seafood.. the kind of seafood you can get up to your elbows in
Mari: lol
Mari: seriously though, anything is fine ;-)
Mari: I was only joking ;-)
Mari: but if theres no seafood then Ill pout.
Mat: lol
Mat: your husband works VERY close to the fish markets
Mari: hehehe
Mat: of course this is of little use as he will not transport any seafood to my place within anything approaching a reasonable timeframe
Mari: I could get him to buy stuff.. he would HAVE to cause its for my birthday
Mari: Ill make him
Mat: how about .. you get him to buy the stuff at lunchtime or in the morning
Mat: and you will probably have to make it VERY clear to him that this really needs to be done, or else his 'nads are forfeit
Mari: yup!
Mat: and I will go by his work on the way home and collect it
Mari: ok done deal
Mat: if you can convince him that buying seafood would be a better option for his health than playing basketball
Mari: he can bite me.. im more important than his bloody basketball
Mari: lol
Mari: oookay
Mat: so .. what seafood to get ...
Mat: prawns
Mat: can make some of that really nice sauce that Wendy and I learned at the seafood school for BBQ prawns
Mat: you can either marinade the prawns in it and bbq them or you can just dip em in it
Mari: hmmmmm.. prawns!!!
Mat: scallops?
Mari: and crabs
Mat: I have a very nice scallop recipe
Mari: yeh.. scallops will come up to my finger nails
Mari: elbows!
Mari: ok.. so what about lots of crabs.. in a pot.. with some spices?
Mari: ;-)
Mat: hmmm ... got a seafood spice blend from Herbies that should be good
Mat: I'll make a shopping list for Ant
Mari: hehehe cool ;-)

So then I relayed the mission onto the field agent..

Mari: Here is your mission
Mari: You have no choice but to accept it
Tony: I symbolically accept the mission
Mari: on Friday during your lunch hour
Mari: we (me and Mat.. mostly me..) need you to go to the fish markets..
Mari: Mat will provide a list
Mari: You must fulfil the list, and store it in your fridge at work
Mari: Mat will come by after work and pick it up
Tony: ok
Mari: You must state categorically that you accept your mission
Tony: I categorically accept my mission

And the deal was done.

Mat: what about fish .. I suppose Antony will whine if there is no barramundi on the menu
Mari: yah
Mari: lets just provide something symbolic for him
Mat: a picture of a fish?
Mat: a photo of a fish!
Mari: LOL

So on Friday my wonderful, dutiful, loyal, loving husband went to the Sydney Fish Markets and got:

• 2Kg Prawns
• 1Kg Scallops
• 3 Mud Crabs
• 2 Lobsters
• 1 Barramundi fillet
• 4 John Dory fillets
• 1 dozen oysters

(are you starting to see WHY we had dinner at Mat's two nights in a row ??)

Unfortunately, my wonderful, dutiful, loyal, loving husband didn't actually pay much attention to how long his list was and decided against taking the car to the fish markets. He walked. And then walked back. Carrying two huge boxes of seafood. Poor thing.

And then I get this msg from Mat:

Mat: ROFLMAO
Mat: Ant is having fun with the crabs
Mat: Tony: these crabs are alive!!!!!
Tony: you didnt warn me about live produce!!!!
Tony: and the biggest one has slipped his bonds!!!!
Mat: ROFL
Mari: ROFL

We laughed.

And then I get this:

Tony: the beast refuses to die!!!!!
Tony: over an hour in the freezer and he immediately tried to escape from the box as soon as I took it out to check on them!
Mari: ROFL

All in the name of love! ;-)

So Friday nights dinner was exquisite! I cannot even put it into words!

However we did run out of time (and stomach space!) to cook it all, so hence dinner on Saturday night.

On Saturday morning I went and did grocery shopping while Tony took Josie to her dance class, and then I got Josie, and Vika and Becka picked us up and we went to my cousin Anna's for lunch. This was fun and Jayden and Josie played for ages really well. Josie always loves playing with Jayden.

After lunch, Vika dropped us off home and we got Tony and went off to Mat's place for dinner where we were joined by a very lucky Karsoe who scored a magnificent seafood dinner ;-)

Then Sunday started off with a party for a school friend of Josie's (Jessie). Josie had a great time playing with her friends, and watching the show (The Funky Bugs).

After the party we grabbed Josie's best friend Rachel and headed straight to Grandma Trudy's place for lunch. The girls played beautifully inside and out in the backyard the whole day. Lunch was fantastic and we had a great time.

By the end of my 4 day birthday celebrations, I was pretty much over my tonsils. On Monday I went to the doctor with the intention of having them out but my doctor convinced me to give the antibiotics a last go. By Tuesday afternoon I was feeling much better and now I am fine, just have to finish the course of antibiotics, then take another month at a reduced intake, and then cross my fingers that its over.

I have always had large tonsils. Since I was a kid everyone was always impressed with my tonsils. They are big and round and surround my uvula. When they swell they are so big that they actually partially block my airways so that when I lie down, I dont get enough oxygen and wake up every 20 minutes or so gasping for air. Thus I hadn't had a good nights sleep in about two weeks! Its nice to be able to breathe again!

This has been a long one.. I am ready for bed ;-)

Happy Birthday Mari!!!!

I would like to wish a very happy birthday to the first love of my life (and mother of the second)!

To my wife, my heart and my soul, thank you for sticking with me for another year.
As most who read this site will know I am basically a disorganised, clown of a man most of the time and I thank God every day for her continued presence in my life.

In the latest of Mari's 29th years she has started a new job (the first in her professional career where she actually enjoys the role - and that's a long time for someone to wait to be happy in an endeavour that takes up such a big chunk of all of our lives) and has quickly shown her quality and come to be relied upon and looked to as a leader by her colleagues and boss. In the same time period we moved house in a long, drawn out and complicated procedure involving a layover of several months at Mari's parents and through all this Mari has continued to raise our daughter while also taking care of the vast bulk of organisational requirements that come along with a young pre-school-age child. She has done all this with little effectual help from the previously mentioned circus performer (except for the raising of the rug rat - I think I do alright in that area but lets face it, I find my hands full with just that one shared task).

Thank you baby.

LOVE

DUBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

.. otherwise known as DUMBO!

So our long weekend began on Friday morning when we all got up to pack (!) and get going to Dubbo.

We were all very excited.. and true to form, even though it was a 2 night trip, we had 2 big bags, Josie's suitcase, two fridge bags and a bathroom bag! Comparatively it was a lot better than our US trip.. but still..

So away we went.. at about 1130am (I had desperately wanted to leave by 10am but it was not to be). Our first stop was Uncle David's house where we swiped his GPS. That GPS turned out to be a godsend! More on that later!

After having secured the GPS, I was horrified to realise that the Nintendo DS that I had borrowed from Jacqui for Josie to play on the way was almost out of battery and while I had a charger for it, it wasn't a car charger! Josie was told quite firmly that she had to ration her DS use and I was SO surprised at how well she did that. Every time I reminded her that she should take a break from it, she handed it over without a problem. On a couple of occasions she actually handed it over without a reminder from me. I was very impressed, considering how little impulse control our daughter has! ;-) The DS lasted to about the Blue Mountains. After that Josie was quite content to look at books and draw. In fact she was just an angel on the way there. I don't remember her complaining at all (although I may have just blocked it out ;-). We stopped a couple of times at Hungry Jacks, to have lunch and for a toilet break, where she could play in their playground. I think this broke up the journey somewhat for her. She was just magnificent on the way there.

The journey there took about 9 hours. 9 hours! This was mostly due to the long weekend traffic. The huge long weekend traffic! Having said that the GPS was wonderful. We were able to bypass chunks of the traffic by finding parallel roads and just taking them. She (the GPS) would freak out when we would do this. She was quite happy when we stuck to her instructions, but when we strayed, she became quite irritable, however, once we did take other roads, she was very helpful in finding our way back to the highway!

We got to Dubbo at about 830pm. Josie was already asleep by then, so we basically put her in her room, shut the door, and melted into the tub. I had specifically booked an apartment that had a spa. It wasn't a round type spa, it was long, but it did have bubbles. We couldn't turn on the bubbles cause it was too loud, but the bath was larger than a standard bath, so we both managed to relax in there for a while.

On Saturday morning I woke up with a bit of a sore throat. I figured it was probably from the dry, dusty outback air.

We got ready and headed out to the Western Plains Zoo. When we got there, the queue of cars waiting to get in was down the road. We got the the end of the line, and 45 mins later we finally drove through the huge zoo gates.

The Western Plains Zoo is just beautiful. Its huge, with animals everywhere and I don't know how people do it all on foot. We took our car around. We managed to see lots of animals and Josie loved it all. I will post some photos on Flickr soon.

Unfortunately, after about 4 hours there my throat started to hurt a lot more, and by the time we got back to the hotel, my tonsils had swollen so much that lying down I could not breathe. I lay down for much of that evening, and when it came time to go to bed, Tony had to prop me upright with about 4 pillows so that I could sleep and breathe at the same time. It was the most uncomfortable night of my life. I woke up every 15-20 minutes and the time just crawled. By about 6am the swelling was down a bit and I was able to lean back, so Tony went into Josie's room (she had woken up), got in bed with her and they fell back asleep. I figure I must have kept him up half the night. Once he left, I removed all the pillows, left mine, lay back, and slept till about 8am. It was bliss. My back was aching though.

That morning (Sunday) we packed up and headed off back to Sydney. The GPS once again was great in helping us avoid the Back-To-Sydney traffic, but the trip, even though it was only 7hrs this time, was difficult. Josie was quite restless and sick of the whole thing. In the last 2 hours she basically kept repeating "I wanna go home!! I wanna go home!!" over and over again, to the point that Tony and I were just ready to leave her on the side of the road and make her walk!! ;-)

We finally made it home at about 530pm. We were all exhausted!

I went to work Monday but left a bit early to go see the Dr.. took Tuesday off to recuperate and am now back at work with very little of my sore throat left and my tonsils back to normal. Yay!

It was a nice trip.. but I think next time, anything over a 5 hr drive, and we'll just fly ;-)

Slow News Day in Sydney.. ?

Read it here. Give me a break! ...

Meat and greet all the president's lunch

September 5, 2007 - 3:00PM

He may have a lot on his plate during this week's APEC negotiations, and critics have argued he bit off more than he could chew in the Iraq war, but a Sydney nutrionist is now chastening US President George Bush over his choice of food during an official lunch today.

The main concern with the plate is the quantity of the protein-rich foods, with a very small amount of vegetables and no breads at all

Mr Bush - a self-confessed "meat guy" - was snapped holding a plate with a large steak, two sausages, at least four prawns, a sliver of carrot and small piece of corn.

Not Poxy!

.. but here's some spinning.. sideways...