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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Weirded out by Josie

I often feel like I'm going slightly mad in the moments between when Josie suddenly starts talking out of nowhere and when I figure out what she's talking about.

This morning we were sitting in traffic on our way to school and I'm thinking about stuff going on at work when I hear, in the background of my thoughts, floating out of the back seat as if on the wind:

Josie: The chicken is holding the cats label...
Daddy: *distractedly* is he?
And then as my sub-conscious begins to start rapping smartly on my conscious for attention and the words "DOES NOT COMPUTE" start to light up in my head I become confused and swivel around in my seat in the hope that if I can see and therefore focus on the child she will start to make sense and the feeling of holding onto sanity by my fingernails will fade...
Daddy: Huh, hang on what? The cats hat?!
Josie: NOOOooo, its LABEL!
Daddy: Wha?!
But before I have time to ask some questions to try and make sense of this conversation she quickly hits back with...
Josie: *in her special thinking voice* I think it's a duck.
Daddy: *completely out to sea at this point* Wha? Duck? What?
Josie: It's not a biiiird! *VERY earnestly*
Daddy: *nothing. But in my head I'm screaming*
Josie: It's a chicken *her mind is made up by the tone in her voice*
Daddy: *I go to my special place...again...in my head* Dribble
Having decided what it is (whatever IT is) Josie now has enough bandwidth to notice Daddy is drooling into his beard and in exasperation points past my shoulder and says...
Josie: The bird!!! Hanging there!
I turn and see the bird and cat fluffy toys which harbor the deoderisers for my car and suddenly I feel myself washed ashore once more on the land on sanity.
Daddy: Oooooooh -thank christ for that-
I turn the bird around to get a look at it and proclaim...
Daddy: It's a toucan sweety
Having now had a good look at it and clearly disgusted by Daddy's paltry mental abilities Josie deadpan-stares me and matter-of-factly states...
Josie: It's a parrot.

Adendum
After we started moving again and a small pause in conversation I tried to reclaim some of my lost status with my daughter by suggesting...
Daddy: Is it a Pirate Parrot?!
To which Josie replied simply...
Josie: No.
In a tone which clearly stated "You are neither funny nor particularly bright. Now, I have intelligent conversations to pursue with my imaginary dollies ... shush."
I shut up for the rest of the trip.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for brightening up my day :) This is a gem and I love how her innocent observation bordered on the brink of 'is my child going mad' thoughts by Tony *heehee*

Tony said...

You're welcome buddy, just think soon enough you'll start having your own wacky and wonderful stories of interactions with bubba Etzi!

BrayClan said...

Oh what a hoot! Or is that a tweet? Or a meow?

Welcome to my world Tony!! You should have left it at 'is he?' LOL

Thanks for the giggles!!